


i love you

by calrissianns



Category: IT (2017), IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King, It Chapter Two (2019)
Genre: M/M, Stanlon - Freeform, angst angst angst, based off of i love you by billie eilish, drabble/short story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-11-10 17:36:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20855612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calrissianns/pseuds/calrissianns
Summary: "We fall apart as it gets darkI'm in your arms in Central ParkThere's nothing you could do or sayI can't escape the way I love you"Mike doesn't like the phrase "I love you", not when all the people he loves are gone. (Or: Mike's relationship with the famous phrase throughout his life.)





	i love you

**Author's Note:**

> hi! so I saw It chapter 2 (again) and that shit hurted. I really love Stanlon (and I want to write more for them in the future) so I wrote this. And yes, there is a Euphoria inspired scene (I don't watch the show but I'm very familiar with the story/scenes). 
> 
> Thank you to my good friend @thejollymilano for being so encouraging! She has some IT fics up that I 100% recommend, especially if you are a reddie fan!

“I love you, man.” is what he says into the phone, the light shining into the room. The words seem simple, a small token of friendship.

The words aren’t simple, they aren’t something he says easily. Because the last time Mike Hanlon said “I love you” was twenty-two years ago.

And he can never say it the same way again. 

~

Mike Hanlon first says “I love you” at two years old when he can first form his sentences. He is in his parent’s arms, and he doesn’t know what a lot of things are, but he knows that they make him happy and they are comfortable. 

He says I love you at three years old, when he sees them for the last time.

And for a while after that, the phrase loses its meaning. 

~

When he thinks about using it again is at fourteen years old. Mike is in the park, with his...friends. Friends. He likes the term friends. 

Eddie and Richie play a game of tag in the woods, as Bill Ben and Beverly talk on a log in the woods. Mike’s eyes are trained on Stanley, however. His shy smile, his curly hair. The way he always holds himself upright, like he is searching for something. 

Mike feels his heartbeat around Stan in a way it’s never done before, and he wants to ignore it, but it gets harder and harder, faster. 

~

At sixteen years old, he walks Stan home from a diner that night, as they cross through a park. It’s dark, stars in the sky, and Stan is talking absentmindedly about his biology project, his upcoming test, how he knows he should order something else instead of the same thing every time.

Mike’s arm is linked around his, and as Stan talks and their footsteps sound in the grass, and Mike just turns to Stan, and for some reason he can’t stop himself from saying it. “Stan.”

“Mike, are you…”

“I think I’m in love with you.” 

“I-” 

“I’m sorry,” Mike says. And he walks away, a tear falling in his face, because the last thing he wanted to do was complicate things but-

“Mike!” He hears Stan call out, and soon he is running towards him, his pale figure barely visible in the dark. He’s looking into his eyes now, and Mike grabs his curls, putting a kiss to the other boy’s soft lips. Stan leans into it, and soon it’s just the both of them, alone, in the park.

Mike cries in his bed that night. 

~

He is in the woods with him, looking at the stars. “We are risking everything,” Stan says quietly.

“I know.” Mike has known from the start it was dangerous, it was a risk, but at this point, he doesn’t care anymore. 

“I love you.”

And with a deep breath, “I love you too.”

~

Getting out of Derry was the intention. To get out of this town, to get away from the memories, to get away from the close minded assholes who lived here. Richie has already left, Ben and Bill are in university, Beverly is in an internship in the city, Eddie is taking care of his mother.

Leaving. At thirteen, Mike always wanted to leave. Before that he did. But every time he wants to, he feels something.

But he and Stan will be together. That’s all that matters.

Because Stan loves Mike, and Mike loves Stan. 

They arrive at the train station. Stan is beaming, practically shaking with excitement. He wants to escape. Mike knows this.

But his heart beats faster. He grabs onto Stan’s arm for support, his breaths becoming short. “Mike. Mike. You okay?” Stan asks, and Mike nods, but he’s not okay. He’s not okay because the daydreams of a child are different than the aspirations of an adult, and if he doesn’t stay, who will?

Stan steps onto the train. “Mike. Mike come on.” 

Mike says nothing, just smiles at him. “Stan, be safe.”

“What?” 

“I can’t do this.”

“What do you mean you can’t do this? That was the plan!”

Mike is quiet. He knows he’s an asshole to do this, but he has to, to save Derry, to save the Losers, to save  _ Stan _ .

“You know why I have to stay.” 

Stan looks as if he’s been slapped in the face, his eyes full of tears, but he nods.

He grabs Mike’s hand one last time. “I love you.” 

“I love you,” Mike says. 

And he’s gone.

~

“Who is this?”

“Mike.”

“...”

“Mike Hanlon. From Derry.”

“Oh. Right, Mike. Sorry, I don’t know why...”

Silence.

“It’s back, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“Have you called the others?”

“They’re on their way. When are you coming?”

“I… don’t know. I need to take care of some things first.”

“Okay. See you soon, Stan.”  _ I love you. _

A click. And silence again.

~

“I love you, too,” Bill says, and Mike smiles.

He can say it now, now that It is gone. He can say the words to friends, to even strangers if he wants to. He looks at the letter in front of him, on the table with a fond smile.

His fingers graze the piece of paper as he finds a little black mark he never saw before. He creases his eyebrow as he observes it closely. In small letters, in Stan’s handwriting it reads:

_ I love you too. _


End file.
